lying down, looking up...

"funny how alcoholism
is always less appealing in the
smalltown bars," she thought, as she
pulled from the parking lot
and away, down the road.

she left him,
seated at the bar, doing things she couldn't
quite understand.
beside her
the rest of the world
sped by, growing less and less
visible through the
car windows which were
fogged by her breath.







less than perfect? oh, it was quite less than perfect. an old bar, ceilings stained with smoke from a fire that had almost taken the whole place down a decade before. the blaze which left behind a steep brown smear, thicker than soot and firm, caked upon a ceiling full of business cards and things, tacked and taped. hunting licenses, faux money. she wrote notes on the back of cardboard coasters, again and again, until she got it right:

"i will be more famous than you..."

the whole of it was little more than a swirl of sad country, dingy bathrooms, lonesome men in plaid caps handling dull vodka tonics. much more than she could swallow: fingernails chewed to the quick. hollowed out eyes directed downward, into the grain of the wood.

knockout...

she had a knack for tuning him out, knowing fair well

that it was all cars and trucks and

small engine parts anyway.

there wasn't a word to be missed, she believed this.

forced herself not to feel

slighted.

"kill 'em with kindness"
is a term less
appropriate than
was once
originally thought.

it has nothing to do
with proper etiquette
in any /way/shape/or/form/
as it often brings
death to the forefront.

juleps for all, extra mint...

jealousy

comes around

every once

in awhile.

is the shape of

a box, and solid.

straight edges meeting

in neat

creases.

women of the block

swallow pride.

chew envy as though

it were tobacco:

in hiding, and

away from the

children.

such a shame, that the neighbors found her temperament

so very disdainful, rubbed the creases of their eyelids and said "what a compounded disgrace."

after all, the fault was not hers in entirety: this was suburbia!

to covet was simply a slice of the game!

she wanted it all,

fine linens and teacups.

vacations in antigua for two!

instincts, to act upon...

indelible face, the
way her mouth
was held.
slight gap between the teeth,
tongue to upper lip.

(altogether striking)

action: exists in the
coming of words,
before they taste
the ear.

her timid, yet repetitive
declarations that
"surfaces seem somehow deceiving"
left the lot of us with nothing to do but
wait patiently for a tender,
well-executed demise.

her fall from grace.

hit the road, jack...

highway,
spine without curve,
salted dust.
things to count on,
to expect,
ticked one by one
on fingers.

say one and two.
say singsong.

potholes, roadblocks,
detours. so predictable.
reeking of dilapidated
fruitstands,
dirty vendors.

teeth into the peach or
plum, fist against
the cherries.
fruit:
never free.

"oh, the things we're forced
to pay for!"

spit, from lips.
watching,
as the
road tounged by:

narrow lines,
cracked in half by
eyelids.

the nautical world

was no doubt forboding, and,

though they feared

that the open water

might somehow

swallow them up,

there was simply nothing

real

to be sorry for:

the rowboat was

sturdy in construct and

all passengers wore

sensible hats

and full

sleeves, ever conscious

of their delicate

skin.

going places...

she was classless:
that much was obvious.
still, what she lacked in areas of refinement,
she made up for in her cooking.
waffles were her specialty, and
though she could not taste or smell them,
she 'd heard they were delicious.

gratitude is not free,

/rather/

it: materializes,

born beside a long line of

hand-me-down

clothing,

tattered shirts,

threadbare jeans,

socks with

holes at toeline.

fabric always

two shades off,

patterns wrong,

appearing

"dated."

furthering these

indecencies were

the arguments,

chronically &

systematically,
out of style.

funny, now that you mention it...

finality of the situation threatens,
a constant looming.
something in the distance.
you call it the 'horizon line'
while i refer to it politely as
a blurring edge.

things which
we cannot bear to think of:
lapses in time,
gasping for breath,
floors which
stretch on for miles,
leading "up up and away."

california,

glued
to the bottom
of cups and

crusted

to the sides of

the flatware:

a cupboard full of
spots
which have not,
evidently,
been cleaned.

"priorities are constantly shifting," she said,

commenting on both

an affair & the state of the street

which rushed on below.

i proceeded to fall to my knees,

hands clasped and beginning to sweat:

"please, tell me something

i don't know."

egalitarianism...

earning power
is an issue more delicate

(imagine
petal
of
flower
or
honeycomb)

than one might initially think. for instance:

on a good day,

sugar typically costs twice as much

as flour.

when sales are poor, the

dollar amount can be thrice.

"these are my groceries, for which i have paid top dollar..." she said, appearing steadfast,

though she wept internally because her fridge was a mess and held little.

her attention

simply could not be captivated.

distance, in retrospect...

discovering
the space between:
two/separate/bodies
may perhaps
become
confusing if
the subject of
intention is
unclear.

take, for instance, the space between fingers or
two hands, held strongly to a face.
distance between hips
(beneath palms) and
the curving inward of a waist.

forgive me but
i much prefer
a sudden
recklessness
when it comes to
moments of this
strange (stacatto)
nature.

"darling, if i weren't cleaning up after you all the time, i might have an oppurtunity to scrub at the scuffs..."
and other things that she soon discovered were not, for the most part,
worth mentioning

contrary to popular belief...

codiality has
as much to
do with

the consumption of

alcohol
as it has
with manners &
(if you have
decorum),
this statement
should be
obvious as
insurance
fraud occurning locally

on a

wednesday afternoon.

baking is often mathmatical...

butter cookies often come in decorative tins,
tins which,
after the cookies have been consumed,
can be used for decorative storage,
holding small things, such as
pins and
spools of thread.

"a pair of penguins..."

"absolutely is better
than maybe,
any day of
the week."

penguin #01:

"dude... are you coming to my party? my black and white ball?"

penguin #02:

"maybe man. i have to see if i can get a ride, you know?"